Dialectics built on false dichotomies

Douglas Adams’ famous answer to “Life, the universe and everything” in his Hitchhiker’s Guild to the Galaxy series was 42. When the answer isn’t satisfactory, Adams concludes the problem isn’t the answer, it’s the question. Our complicated world has been made more complicated for the same reason. We’ve been given the wrong questions and that causes our answers to feel incomplete, wrong, unsatisfactory.

In a previous article of mine, The Way We Are,  I talk about how humans love having arguments with two possible answers, and then picking sides. Pro-life/pro-choice, pro-gun/anti-gun, big oil/renewable energy, and the list goes on. Then we develop a loyalty to these sides in the same way we develop an unyielding loyalty to a sports team.

We live in a divided world. Any guesses why?

Yeah, you got it.

We’re being fed questions that naturally divide into two black and white sides. In our current world, I think few would argue that the media is more about control than information. Right/left, conservative/liberal, Democrat/Republican. The strategy is as ancient as humanity: Divide and conquer.

So, why do we keep falling into the trap?

That’s a question I can’t answer, but let’s take a look at one of the most emotionally divisive traps. Pro-life/pro-choice.

I truly believe this is the single most powerful dichotomy ever created. The emotional attachment is absolute. The problem is… it isn’t a dichotomy. There aren’t ‘two sides’ to this ‘argument’. The ‘two sides’ have been brilliantly manufactured for the divide and conquer strategy and the creators are ecstatic because of the control it affords them. After people have picked their side, cognitive dissonance does the rest. “Our side of the manufactured dichotomy believes ‘x’ and if you are on our side then, logically, you subscribe to all of our beliefs.” All they have to do is keep the dialectic in the minds of the masses.

Before I continue, I’d like to express how emotionally personal this topic is to me. When I found out my wife was pregnant with our first son, as soon as we saw the line show up on the stick, I was talking to the being inside her womb.  That was my child. I read to it, talked to it, sang to it. My world changed. Yet, the division of the cells had only been happening for about a month. The ‘child’ I was talking to was smaller than a poppy seed. That group of cells is now a much bigger group of cells, is an electrical journeyman, and came over last weekend to help me wire a building I’m building. I say all of that to let people know that I know how emotional the topic is. I absolutely get it.

But let’s change the question. Let’s not use the question that has been given us. The new question: Who’s in favor of a higher abortion rate?

What do you think? Are we all on the same side? The answer is a solid ‘No’ for me and I would be highly surprised if anyone takes the opposing view.

The abortion rate has been dropping for decades. Now that we’ve removed the contrived false dichotomy, we can start looking at the factors that have caused the decline. That is for another article, but I think you can see how changing the question changes everything.

The dichotomies we are being fed are contrived to divide. They turn complex issues into two simple sides. Pro-life and pro-choice are ridiculously simplistic positions on a very complex topic. I’ve never labeled myself as either because neither one could possibly hold my belief or understanding of that clump of cells that later came to help wire my new building.

The same is true of many of the dichotomies that divide us. We are asking the wrong questions.

Where does that leave us? What do we need to change? It really isn’t that difficult. The first step is to realize you are an individual with the ideas of an individual. No label can hold who you are. No box is big enough or complex enough for your mind. Once we step out of the manufactured dichotomy, we realize both the complexity and the simplicity of many ideas.

The second is to realize you are wrong. Maybe not about the idea that just came into your mind but you are wrong about many other ideas. A person’s ideas and beliefs change, evolve and grow as they do. That is natural. It is okay to be wrong. It’s not okay to think you are never wrong. The best thing we can ever do for ourselves is to listen to people we believe are wrong. Really listen. Read books outside of your belief system. Watch news with perspectives outside your norm. Once you have done that, one of two things will have happened. Your belief system is stronger and secure. You’ll be able to clearly articulate your beliefs, or you’ll have to change your beliefs. Both of those are perfectly acceptable outcomes.

It’s time for us to start asking the right questions instead of being told the wrong answers.